At the outset, let me state that I have nothing against the LGBTQIA community. I fully support the right to self determination regarding one's gender and sexuality. My blog is based on the hypocrisy I have seen in the budding LGBTQ+ community in India. I count an employer, a manager, an ex best friend, an ex boyfriend's former girlfriend and more among my LGBTQ+ acquaintance. Of these, my manager sexually abused me; and my ex (although we are good friends) did not let me know of his alternative sexuality while he was in a relationship with me. I am not minimizing their struggle to survive the society. However, my blog is strictly restricted to the privileged people among the gay community.
Let's take the example of my ex. My ex can be excused for not telling me about his "gay" past. He needed to feel safe in a relationship before he outed himself but he discriminates against people the same way that people disriminate against him. Shouldn't a person who has seen the worst of the society participate more in the society.
I know a current HQ judge who shared a tweet disparaging the "Me Too" movement. It is not nice for me to read it.
Now, thanks to my ex, I know sexual abuse is fairly prevalent in the LGBTQ+ community. After all, you can't get each other pregnant. This is, however, a different kind of sexual abuse. Fathom this, my lesbian manager, who was closeted at the time, came and several times touched me under the garb of managerial interactions. One day, she threatened me with rape. Today, she will excuse herself giving all kinds of nonsensical reasons like "the society did not allow her to express her sexuality and hence, things went wrong. The truth is, abuse is abuse and this had nothing to do with sexuality. Put aside my own example, this lady was married to a man. She even went to the extent of having a daughter with this person while having a girl friend/ best friend on the side. To put another human through a relationship like that should be crime. Yet, we see all kinds of "converted" gays and lesbians who have no sense of responsibility towards the person they used to get ahead in life.
Here is the thing: I have noticed about people who are gender fluid, that they assume the normative role of a patriarchal society, no matter what gender they are. For eg., my ex boyfriend, in a heterosexual relationship, was the epitome of patriarchal cis gender boyfriend. However, in a homosexual relationship, he fulfils the same role that a woman in a patriarchal heteronormative role would fulfil. My ex manager, was the one, who blamed women for getting acid attacked and told me that we needed a man's hand to fix my bike. In fact, this last person was so typically an ally of the patriarchy, that it is unbelievable that she preaches gender fluidity today. I believe that she always wanted to be the Princess of Patriarchy but she did not qualify due to the way she looked. So, she probably decided to escape in the security of lesbian relationships and take a hammer to heterosexuality by seeking a divorce, alimony, and custody of the child born in the marriage like a perfectly hetero normative person. Either way, she does a great disservice to all the genders. In summary, most of the LGBTQ+ acquaintance I have made, only advance the cause of patriarchy. It is in fact, the hetero normative women like me, who are actively taking a hammer to patriarchy.
The list of hypocrisies is long, especially of their participation in the civil society. The Indian law recognizes home sexual marriage but it does not recognize homosexual sexual assault. Given how prevalent sexual assault is in gay relationships (I think it is more hetero normative people), it is the LGBTQ+ community that should have tried to change this about the law. There should because activism about the real issues, rather than just saying things like "Love is Love".
